Batteries, just like liquids, must now be protected from becoming terrorist-style weapons or catching on fire by being enveloped in that wonder-material: the Ziploc bag. Had the TSA seen the episode of Cranky Geeks I was on a few months ago, they would know that what protects us from the fiery inferno of battery blazes is paper, not plastic, and I worry that an entire nation will be destined for a tragic demise of flames and heartbreak, all because the government doesn’t keep up with technology via videocasting rants and is leading us astray with protection clearly only suitable for guarding against the danger of 3.4 oz or less of water, shampoo, and toothpaste.

In short, beginning January 1st, all lithium batteries must be either in a device they power or in a plastic bag in carry on luggage. If in checked luggage, even if in the super-flame retardant, fantastically amazing plastic, the batteries could turn the plane into a fiery ball of destruction. It’s only by the grace of a perfectly aligned universe that we’ve all managed to escape such a fate before now.

As with those hazardous liquids, limits apply to these perilous batteries. According to the TSA Guidelines:

Under the new rules, you can bring batteries with up to 8-gram equivalent lithium content… You can also bring up to two spare batteries with an aggregate equivalent lithium content of up to 25 grams… For a lithium metal battery, whether installed in a device or carried as a spare, the limit on lithium content is 2 grams of lithium metal per battery…. The limits are expressed in grams of “equivalent lithium content.” 8 grams of equivalent lithium content is approximately 100 watt-hours. 25 grams is approximately 300 watt-hours.

I’m sure those working security will have no trouble measuring lithium content in my necessary-like-water-and-air bag of electronics. I see only smooth airport days ahead.

8 Comments

  1. Chris December 30, 2007 at 11:57 am

    This has news teaser written all over it. “Could this common house hold item delay your travel planes and possibly kill you? Stay tuned at 11.”

    For some reason this reminds me of the Mythbusters where they deemed it possible to kill someone with cigarette butts fired from a gun. Once it was a piece of litter, but now I tremble in fear at the sight of them.

  2. mercutiom December 30, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    Are they afraid we’ll dunk our batteries in the water that we’re not allowed to bring through security either? Homelanders, I swear, the stupidity is astounding.

    Out of curiosity, how many planes HAVE gone down in flames due to battery defects? Is that what caused the Hindenburg disaster, an unattached cell phone battery? /sigh/

  3. Feydakin December 30, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    Yet another reason why I simply don’t fly commercial any more.. I have a friend in the TSA at a local airport and the stories he tells of the power trips some of the TSAs go on are incredible..

  4. qwerty December 30, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    If I never fly again it’ll be too soon. What this country needs is a high speed train that actually travels at high speed, like the TGV. I could live with it taking 14-15 hours to travel from Boston to San Francisco.

  5. andrew wee December 30, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    Man, some people are gonna look stupid with their laptops, cellphone, ipods and Suunto digital watches encased in plastic.

    god forbid if some tech savvy guerilla should decide to open up like 50 lithum cells and make some mythbusters-style pyrotechnic device from it…

  6. Neuromancer December 31, 2007 at 3:09 am

    Autualy the plasitic bags makes sense the plastic is non conductive so there’s less chance of a loose batery shorting on other metal objects in the luggage.

    and a laptop batery fully charged shorting is not somthing you would want had an little AA batery short on me in a walkman and boy was that hot droped it prity quick so didnt get burned but it stung for the rest of the day.

  7. Brent David Payne December 31, 2007 at 11:07 am

    Damn them! I was almost done with my flawless bomb design I planned to sell to Osama Bin Laden that used 2.1 grams of lithium per battery. So close to retirement . . .

    Brent David Payne

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