Mostly You're Searching For Naked Pictures. And Help With Your Blackberry.
Sites that want to do well in search look to rank well and get traffic from search queries other than those specifically involving their site names. Sure, you want to be found for your company name or your blog name, but you figure anyone who already knows that is seeking out your site specifically. And you also want traffic from people searching for other topics that your site provides information about. People who maybe don’t know about your company or your site but once you’ve answered their burning search question, they won’t soon forget!
So far, I’m mostly ranking for people looking for me. Or for nude pictures (surely not of me, although I’m not sure exactly what the person searching for vanessa does dallas was looking for). I’m sure I don’t need to recount the various nude-related searches. We’ve all done them, I mean seen them. But searchers are also looking for a few other things that I feel I’m just not adequately providing. And I just don’t want to let them down.
So, to the person looking for oh i’m thinking about our younger years I say, it was only you and me. We were young and wild and free.
(By the way, when I do lyric searches, which I end up doing quite a bit, I find they often work better if I enclose the lyric in quotes and add the word lyric to the end of the query. Just a tip from me to you. Next time you need to know money, money, money, what kind of weather it’s like in a rich man’s world.)
make some effort (and related searches such as an effort). I don’t know how to answer this. I will indeed make some effort. If I get a little more coffee. I’m pretty lazy without coffee.
Someone wanted to know about working out when it hurts. Here’s the thing. Working out hurts. It just sucks. I find that NSync helps. Not with pushups, of course. And the person said working out sometimes makes me tired after, I think you might not understand the purpose of working out. Which is to make you so tired that you can barely walk to your car. And when people mock you and say, haha, you drove to go work out, you can visualize them being stuck on a treadmill for three hours. Although you won’t actually plot to make this happen because you’re just too tired.
To the person who wants to know what to write as a status in Facebook, I have absolutely no answers. I have no idea what to set my status to. It needs to be something with longevity because otherwise, I set my status to something like “taking a nap” and then get distracted by my email and the gym and flying to another country and before you know it, everyone thinks I’ve been taking a nap for four days. Which sounds pretty good actually, so the next time you see that as my status, it may indeed be true.
when not to launch early? When you’re not ready.
And now for some sports advice. why can’t you call “mine” in soccer? Good question. Why can’t you call mine in more things in life? Just asking.
Several people were looking for my Buffy site. I’m working on it! Patience!
But mostly, people who weren’t searching for me or porn were looking for help with their blackberry problems. Now, I must admit, as much as you’d have to pry my blackberry from my cold dead fingers, sometimes it drives me insane. It does crash a lot and gives out random errors for no reason. One error that happens a lot when I’m using the browser is this http 400 error. Now possibly this has nothing to do with the blackberry, and the sites I’m browsing to aren’t configured for mobile browsing (don’t get me started on airline sites that don’t work on mobile browsers because that is just about the craziest thing I’ve ever seen), but I think there’s something in particular about the combination of the site and the blackberry. Apparently lots of other people have had this problem, if my logs are any indication. Mostly people are looking for help with this one particular error 400, but someone just wants to know why the internet failed.
This error happens mostly with the blackberry browser, although my Cingular browser isn’t working at all right now, so I can’t compare them. The exact error message is:
HTTP Error 400: Bad Request
The server could not understand the page request, or was unable to process it for some reason. Please try loading a different page.
Well, I don’t think I made a bad request, since I can make the same request on my laptop browser just fine. And all I’m asking is for a web page to load. I’m not asking the server to make me coffee. Although wouldn’t it be cool if servers could do that?
If I click the details, I get something a little more helpful than “unable to process it for some reason”, which is so unhelpful, I say, why even include it. Just say the server couldn’t process the request. The “for some reason” is just mocking me. Details tell me that the the size of the request header field exceeded the server limit. Which tells me that my precious blackberry browser is sending something a little odd, since all I did was type in the URL. Like I do from any browser. The details also show the details of my cookie, which again, is just there for the mocking factor. That’s the blackberry saying, haha, I’ll show you some code that you can do absolutely nothing with. But it’ll make me look like I tried and you’re just too lame to do anything with this overflowing set of data I’m providing to you.
I did my own search and found that sometimes the firewall that the blackberry might have to pass requests through (like say, if you have your blackberry on a corporate network) can mangle the request, but in my case, this happens only for particular sites. For most sites, things work fine. Someone else said this error can sometimes show up for blocked sites, which is interesting. I don’t think my company blocks sites, but I’ve noticed that Cingular does. So, that’s possible, although generally I get a different error message for blocked sites (it’s always random sites that are blocked for seemingly no reason too).
Some other stuff I read implied that this can sometimes happen when the webserver isn’t configured to handle certain types of requests. And that sounds reasonable. Especially combined with another post I found where someone said that after doing some troubleshooting, they found that the blackberry gateway was sending huge amounts of data in the http headers. And so if some webservers are configured with limits on this data, this would match my details message.
If you have a blackberry and get this error, your answer may be to use your laptop for browsing to the site. (And I have found that with a broadband card, you can surf on your laptop while driving almost as well as on your blackberry — at lights, people!) However, if you run a site, particularly one that you think may be accessed by mobile devices (which at this point is really all sites, because you never know when I might want to stop by), you should check out how it loads not just on one mobile browser, but on a bunch of different mobile devices, including a blackberry and a smartphone. (I throw that last one in there since I might give up the blackberry for a smartphone and I am selfishly thinking of my own browsing needs.)
And if you’re searching for me nude at the gym, well sorry to disappoint. I generally wear clothes there. They’ve got this wacky policy about that.